Okay, so, hear me out... This is going to be a fucking weird comment but I swear I can make you laugh at least once (and a half).

This isn't the first fanfic of yours that I read in the past few weeks (month?), I actually started with Lavender Sand and then I was like "yeah, what the fuck, this person writes the good shit" and just then I came here to read this one. I read this entire work, all 144 chapters, in three days. And then I went back to your profile to see your other stuff and I almost hit my head against the wall because this one was the only finished work, and then I decided to see if you had anything else finished in your ffnet AND COLOUR ME SURPRISED when I found Lavender Sand finished... and then I read the entire stuff in three days too. And I read your other works, not necessarily before or after going back to LS. But anyway, the point is that I made myself a promise to come back to all of your works I've read when I had some time to spare and leave you a comment (pff, several, actually). I will start my crusade by commenting on your first work I've finished and I will do so in here because I did it here, so you can wait for me on ffnet since I've read the other stuff in there. This is just me giving you a heads up because, girlie, you will be seeing me. I will try to commment every 10 chapters, since you weren't shitting me with a name with "long stories" in it.

Can you believe I found your works by chance when I saw someone saying something about crackships on tumblr? I don't remember what it was, but I found the links to your stuff. I'm so happy I clicked on a link and wasn't scammed.

See you in 10, xoxo <3

When I started reading this fanfic I didn't really like it but I kept going because I knew Lavender Sand was really fucking good and this one had the potencial to be as well! I'm kidding, I kept reading because I thought the concept was funny and I enjoy watching a circus burning down, and this one here sounded chaotic, but the more I read the more curious about the outcome I got.

Starting from the beginning: I loved it when Hinata just decided to kick the bucket and fuck off. Fucking off is scary but it can be so good for the soul, right? (RIGHT?). I remember Hinata saying herself she overreacted at the beginning but I don't really agree to that, I don't think it was an overreaction to want some time alone to get your shit together and lose your temper when the people (somehow) responsible for your turmoil won't leave you alone, and also the stuff about not having your pain validated. Girlie wanted to feel her feelings, even when they weren't good, and not being left alone to do so can be tiring. There is only so much a tired person can take.

There was a scene in Naruto Shippuden where Sakura wants Naruto to not leave her or something, and then she kind of says she will reciprocate his feelings? Or something on this line, but he refuses because he knows she will never love him the same way and she just wanted a crutch for the pain/loneliness. I never really liked her but I never had anything against her as a characters, but this scene made me seethe, because she wasn't only being stupid to Naruto, who loved her, but it was right after the Pein attack, right after Hinata confessed to Naruto. Your dialogue about Naruto not knowing about Hinata's feelings and Hinata telling him Sakura knew reminded me of this moment from the show, because knowing about Hinata's feelings wouldn't stop Sakura at all.

Tell you what, when Tsunade said Hinata might enter the bingo book one day, I'm sure she wasn't expecting Hinata to take that as a challange and get herself a whole page of crimes. Hinata was literally living her cotagecore dream, meanwhile Tsunade in her office like "THE FUCK IS SHE DOING WITH ITACHI?"

But my girl ended up in Suna, I ended up shipping gaahina, and Gaara ended up crying and listening to Call Out My Name by The Weeknd for a year. And on that note, I wasn't expecting the gaahina in here to be so soft and sweet because I knew what was coming on the way, and it broke my heart all the same when it ended. Give Gaara more hugs and head pats, the challenge.

"If she had let herself, she could have easily fallen in love with the mysterious man filled with old scars." She really has a type, huh?

I shit you not, I heard the wedding bells inside my head when Itachi first showed up (might also have been my mental illness, who knows?). I love this motherfucker in canon, I loved him in here, I love him in your other stories, I can't go a day without loving him all around the place like a rhino on a rampage. This story made me ship itahina as well, and their friendship in here got me CRYING MY EYES OUT because HOW DARE HE? I would beat the illness out of him if I could. Hinata is literally the only character I can see babying fucking criminals, it was so fucking funny when she was treating Itachi and Kisame (and Deidara, and Hidan) and they didn't want the whole treatment and she was like "I will take care of you whether you want it or not" and pointing the metaphorical knife at them.

"Itachi’s lip quirked up. He thought this was funny. Hinata’s face turned red." Kiss him on the mouth then :D

Overall, cutting your hair can be really freeing... As well as joining a terrorist organization because some handsome stranger smiled at ya, we've all been there, girl.

xoxo

Kisame in chapter 11 did such a number on me I couldn't possibly predict he would become the family's official favorite uncle, and yet (and yet I got another ship, even though I already have so many. Hinata's harem keeps getting bigger). I am rereading as I'm writing the comments, and I absolutelly love how Hinata can be such a mom to these grown ass terrorists. "She didn’t expect the man to be such a baby. Kisame moaned, whined, and complained throughout the whole process." I LOVE YOU, SHARK DUDE.

You might be the fucking best writing the intricate and delicate faces of human relationships and trauma, but do you know what? I rolled myself off the bed the first time I was reading this story because Kisame and Itachi were like Chip 'n Dale putting up shit like “Why does she get to say when we leave?” and “Because she sewed your guts back in.” This is gold in its purest form.

Also: Itachi respecting her, Hinata feeling proud of herself because of him, Kisame letting her do her thing. The three of them were my favorites from the start, right up until the end. Even after Itachi died I thought regularly about how much I was missing (him) their dinamic, the three of them started the family and it was such a devastating pain when Itachi wasn't there anymore. The three of them were just so comfortable to have around, and it felt like such a huge thing when they weren't there all the time anymore. I think you are really talented writing comfort stuff, because when you make your characters care for each other you make us readers care for them in return, and the hardest thing in writing a good story (to me, at least) is to make characters human enough and to give - or reproduce - their personalities well enough, and you can do that so nicely, even when they get a little out of character you can still pull that off because you give them humanity and reason to do so. You have a very human and detailed way of saying things, which makes your writing emotional without sounding fake (also helps that I think you're great with your plots).

“You’re a regular housewife.” SO? SHE'S KEEPING YOU ALIVE, DIPSHIT. I mean, she is a hot housewife, I want her to be my housewife too. It's really cute how Kisame went from "I don't trust you, I will end you" to "You're usefull" to "I would die for you" so quickly, the three stages of adopthing a missing-nin.

Hidan mocking Hinata when he first showed up is just so funny to me, not only because he will have his ass handed to him, but because he also becomes an uncle. Fuck you, Hidan.

Pein was my first favorite character in Naruto Shippuden. He was literaly why I decided to give this part of the story a go, and it was so fucked up to me what he became because he used to be the sweetest motherfucker in town when he was still Yahiko, he had so MUCH humanity in him. Reading him in here made me remember how much I loved Yahiko, Nagato and Konan, because you brought up that Pein was human. I've read a shit ton of fanfic, and they almost never talk about this, about him being a person who gets food poisoning and thinks stuff are funny. I was so sad after the war part bc he never showed up again, even though Hinata would accept him with them. I'm nostalgic because reading him in here for the second time makes me remember soft things.

Do you know that feeling when amazing fictional locations are destroyed? That feeling of hopelessness, even though the places do not exist, but the memories in there are just as strong as if they're real? I feel that a lot, because I think the memories are what build a home. Hinata's little cottage was a home, as well as a bribe, and everyone had a good time in there. It's so bittersweet. I think her house was a character just as any other, because it had a personality and served a purpose just like any other. Seeing it again and knowing they will need to move on eventually hits really hard. Anyway, Akatsuki could totally be a real state agency, it seems.

I love it when Hinata is missing having people around and thinks "hey maybe I shouldn't be emotionally dependent on criminals" and then she gets emotionally dependent on them anyway.

Oh yeah, I meant to ask you something when I first read. The books Pein gave her for her research were previously owned by Tobi? He talks about his later on, about the research being compromised. I thought the icky feeling she had was because the books were owned by Orochimaru, since he is a fucked up psychopath who was part of Akatsuki before.

Thank you for introducing the art of killing people by Hinata's pretty hands too, it gave me life and joy and hapiness and I twirled my hair and giggled a lot :D I was so caught up in the euphoria of murder that for like a minute I lived in a world where Itachi didn't have an autoimmune disease.

SASORI AND DEIDARA ARE HERE, FINALLY. LAV, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I COULD WRITE YOU A FUCKING ESSAY ABOUT THEM AND NEVER SHUT UP ANYMORE. I'm not gonna talk too much about them right now because I have stuff to talk about them later, but I will let you know I already started reading with a heavy heart because I knew some of them wouldn't make it. I got attached anyway, I never claimed to be a smart girl.

I think Sasori was just so fucking confused. I also think it's funny how what made it for him, regarding Hinata, was pretty much what did it for Gaara in LS: being treated gently not because she was wary of them, but because she saw them as deserving of it as any other person. She saw both of them as people and treated them as such, and it really did a number on them. Funny, considering how Gaara and Sasori behave about each other in here.

You said it was rough to not make Sasohina and, well... yeah. It was hard on me too because how dare you make Sasori such a complex and interest character, the travesty. The travesty in giving him something he could only long for and never truly have because he isn't like the other men around. He kind of had her, and he decided to stay even though it hurt emotionally, because in the end having something bittersweet was better than having nothing at all after all the love and care. It reallu hurt because you made them care for each other so much, in Hinata learning about him and how to help him (as she did to everyone) and him taking care of her in his own way. I never expected Sasori in here. I never expected him to be a possibility, AND YET, YOU KNOW? You woke up one day and told yourself "today I'm going to hit Nikandrros in the face with a fucking brick" when you decided to post in here and rolled with it until I found you. I could kiss on the forehead, tho.

"Deidara acted like a civilian teenager, flirting, rebelling, and throwing tantrums, especially when she told him how long she would keep him. No one in the Akatsuki had any patience at all. He was also rather sweet, passionate, and funny." And it fucks me from behind. This Barbie son of a whore was so suicidal and loathed himself so much it became narcissism. It seems like with Deidara, in canon, he never felt like he was enough to a point where he just wanted to be remembered when he died. You gave him a reason to stay, you got him coming back too. Being alive might not have worked in the long run, but at least to me, it felt like you respected him and did him some justice. I'm thankful to you for being good to him. I cried a lot about him.

To be honest I cried very often. I cried every 3 chapters, I think. My best friend made a count of how many times I texted her in the three days of reading saying "I'm crying about this shit again I will throw myself from the window" and it was a lot of times. No windows were harmed throughout my stay, don't worry.

“You’re looking at me but not at me. Just who is that I remind you so much of?”
No need to lie. “A friend.” No reason to tell the whole truth, either.
“Lover?” Now Sasori was trying to push her buttons.
“No, actually. Just a friend.”

This is about all of the "what could have been". I'm totally unhealty about how much out of time Hinata was in here. Out of time with her loved ones, never reaching when she could, never having enough time with them. She lost Naruto before even having him, she lost the possibility of Gaara, she lost Itachi when he was within reach, she lost Sasori to things that weren't their fault and happened before her time. It kills me, it fucking obliterates me, that her time was made of missing chunks of things that never came to be, of flowers that never grew, of impossible possibilities. I thought she didn't have as much chemistry with Sasuke as she had with her other possibilities, but what made it truly work for them imo was that Sasuke was just there at the right time. He stayed. Even when they thought they'd lost each other they didn't because they were in the right time, for once, and they didn't want to let it go.

I had to cut my previous comment short because AO3 is being mean to me and it won't let me leave you my scrolls of mental illness. But anyway, pretent it is still the previous comment.

I went back to ffnet yesterday after leaving the second comment because I wanted to give Lavender Umbrella a chance and it made me realize stuff and I'm totally going insane. You created your own little world inside your stories, you have the characters humanity and you gave them things to enjoy and care about, and you worked those things in your other works. Gaara and his thing about hugging Hinata and hiding in her tummy in Lavender Sand, Kisame enjoying the cooking and being taken care of in Lavender Umbrella, Itachi in Testing Success being a stable source of comfort and tranquility even in his worst moments, Sasuke being weirdly good with kids and having a good head on his shoulders when it comes to help Hinata because he cares about her and doesn't expect shit in return in What He Left Behind. It is too soon to analise Death Wishesand I haven't read Wheels and Lavender Memories yet, but you are solid with your description of their core traits and it is so nice.

Btw, stop killing Itachi. You're literally the god of your own world, give the poor soul a rest and a vacation in Hawaii. I'm kidding, you do what you must, but I get so sad because he is there and he is nice and then boom: doom. It just fucks me over because Hinata really tried, and she wanted to keep trying finding a way to help him, and they had nice vibes, I am so weak for nice vibes, you know?

"Hinata must have looked like a miserable mess. She couldn’t help it. She wiped away a frustrated tear. Itachi pulled her up by her hands. She felt useless. She had done so little and had already hit a wall. Itachi led her to the kitchen and made her tea. She was mourning him, and he wasn’t even dead yet." I think he was already dead in the moment he resigned to it, to be honest. And I think Hinata knew that too. There were several moments I think he wanted to kiss her, and that was not one of those, but I think it was the moment it hit Itachi how much he trusted her. He was also with a foot in the grave and still went for the base with Hidan for her, I will KILL ALL OF THE WINDOWS IN THE WORLD-

Kisame's hugs. Kisame's hugs and Kisame being lovely. And Kisame's tenderness. Kisame in general, just Kisame. And cuddles. I'm having a stroke, do you feel me? I developed such and attachment to a dude I thought it was just a little funny and now I want to lick his face.

See you in 10 <3 xoxo

I'm taking a break from commenting in Clouds, so here I am. And I also had shower thoughts about Death Wishes and decided to share them because you're stuck with me now.

I know you are really good with comfort, romance, drama, fluff, slice of life, action, and so and so... But I don't why it never crossed my mind that you could be good with thriller as well. I love horror stuff, I love supernatural things and dark themes around it, and I was so surprised to read this one here because it reminded me a little of The Haunting of Hill House (both the book and the show), because we readers know Itachi is some supernatural being, but Hinata didn't, and her questioning about her mental health still sounded solid, but the line between madness and otherworldly was still present. The other reason why it reminded me of Hill House is because of how you intertwined familial drama - which by itself is another kind of psychological horror - and world-building. F*** me, you're such a great author.

Loneliness is a kind of horror too, and you built it up well enough to imply mania and intrusive thoughts, so many thoughts Hinata thought she made someone up to cope. I love when mental illness is used as a source of fear. She even projected her loneliness in Itachi, it broke me.

I was curious about Hinata and her "deserving to suffer" but I don't think this is worth mentioning because the story will explain ...

This message has been truncated due to length. To view in full, please visit site.

Guess who's back? :D Not Itachi. I am not as good as him but I can be your personal clown, how about that?

If I was in Hinata's position I would just leave Hidan be. Leave him screaming and crying and throwing up until death takes pity on him. Leave him outside in the cold for all that I care. Good thing I'm not in her position. I vibe so much with Kisame when he “I would have at least tortured him a little. Maybe put his legs where his arms go.” I feel you, bro.

"She made sure Itachi had more than enough medication for his mission. Kisame teased her for her tone when she warned him about what she prescribed. Hinata only spent a couple of days alone with her research, and Sasori and Deidara returned. She was confused as they weren’t hurt. Apparently, they usually hid between missions at hideouts everywhere, and Deidara wanted to stay with her. Sasori told her this, much to Deidara’s embarrassment." No, because this paragraph is just priceless. Let me dissect it: it's about the lengths she went for their well-being. I'm pretty sure the last time Itachi felt taken care of was when he was a literal child. Not sure if Kisame and Deidara ever had someone caring about them so much, mainly Deidara when he got hurt and had Hinata mothering the fuck outta him. Sasori might have it at some point, but he is like, 30? Something around it. And he is a puppet. And Hinata still took the time to learn about him and she's genuinely interested in learning everything about him, to help him in case he needs it. Can you imagine how much it meant to him to have someone caring? She's not only their medic, but she gets attached and they know it, they can feel it, they can fucking see it. I'm crying again and I am not even kidding this time, because it's so fucking nice to read characters I care about being taken care of by my favorite girl.

Reading about her time with them is so funny because, at times, it just feels like a really tired kindergarten teacher dealing with super powerful toddlers. God help Hinata. This is really Gakuen Babysitters but there's only one babysitter, the children are murderers, and the daycare is on fire.

I would exchange an arm to read more about Sasori all nervous around Hinata. I want to swallow their interactions so it will live forever inside of me, and I want to read fanfic about them desperately, but there's none out there (I checked). So please, take some mercy on me and write a heated making out session.

The domesticity of everything is what hits harder for me. The normalcy of having a home to come back to, the will to come back home alive, having someone who simply wants you as you are and wouldn't change you (because of something as irrelevant as murder). I know it is cliché, but having something/someone you care about is what makes you a truly wonderful fighter. In their case, later, they really want to come back to Hinata and they make it out alive. I think this is the weirdest thing for people who never had it easy. Think Kisame in later chapters, so tender and caring, compared to his first encounter with Hinata. It's about the growth. They even come to respect the weapon's at the door rule and it's magnificent.

It does prove my point when Kisame asks Hinata to stay when she's away.

I also love how they get to know Hinata. How every little thing is mutual, like when Itachi noticed the clothes around the house weren't hers. This is such a small detail, but it shows that they cared to learn about her as much as she did them.

I totaly forgot about her mission with Sasori and Deidara. When I read it for the first time I was so emotionaly hurt. It must have been such a shitty situation for everyone involved. And Gaara. Oh my dear, Gaara.

If my man Gaara was already fucked up in the head blasting the top 3 saddest The Weeknd songs in his office, I'm sure he started listening to Passenger. Let Her Go was top #1 song in Suna against everyone's will. Blame it on Hinata.

No, really, I want a whole soap opera on Gaara's point of view. The person he loves fucked off to be a terrorist and was siding with a guy he not only despises but looks a lot like him. HMMM. Jokes aside, I think it broke him when she said “he left me here”.

“Will you let me leave?”
“If you never come back.”

Can you hear it? Can you hear me SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP, PASSING OUT, SHITTING MYSELF? No? Okay.

And Hinata was so worried about being a failure and facing Sasori... but he was so tender. I swear I screamed when Kisame hugged her, I can't even imagine how they felt when they found out what happened in Suna. It fucks me that she was so prepared to be scolded and rejected but got some grown ass men worried a ton about her. I think when Itachi explained that "it might happen" about their deaths it really upsat her because she just realized how much she cares about them.

Now... Sasohina. Sasori already knew about Gaara, and Gaara found out about Sasori. And I think if Sasori wasn't in love already by chapter 26, he certainly is past it because his “it used to be the other way around” is delivered with suck a shock, you know? He didn't expect to be someone important enough for her to go all this way looking for him...

See you later, I'm done today. God fucking help me here.

We need to talk about chapter 27, girl, because... because! That's when the other shoe drops for Hinata, I think. She decides to learn how to be lethal AND GIRL!!!!! "She could have got people she cared about killed with her carelessness. Incapacitating people couldn’t be her main option anymore." and "Sasori hand-delivered her to Suna, risking his own safety. Hinata should be able to do the same." Hello? Excuse me? It punches really hard how she thought about what he had done for her because there she is thinking of him and Sasori still can't believe she gives a damn about him. IF HE ONLY KNEW.

You know I loved murder kitten Hinata. You are very much aware of how much I loved her technique, and I really wished she had exploded more guts out and about, she would look beautiful doing so. I wanted her family to see what she became, what she was without the leash.

I will love Hinata forever for threatening Itachi with... health care? Whatever the fuck they have going on is beautiful... for now. She even mothered Kisame, it was a truly beautiful chapter.

“I wasn’t planning on getting ambushed.” Kisame defended.
“That is my point!"

I'm actually laughing like a psychopath. The fucking foreshadowing.

[me at the beggining of chapter 28 like] OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S HAPPENING, EVERYONE IT'S FUCKING HAPPENING AND I'M NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS FIGHT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO SAY THAT I WILL LIST DOWN BELLOW

Hinata's desperation to find Sasori
Sakura seeing the consequences of her decisions and what was made of Hinata AND acting surprised about it
Hinata putting up a fight AND MAIMING A SENIOR CITIZEN
“I WILL go through you to get to him.”
Sakura telling Hinata she can't treat Sasori and Hinata like YOU FUCKING WATCH ME
“Do you know who he is?” “Do you?” “This isn’t like you.” “How would you know? I don’t remember us being close.”
When the old lady asked what Gaara would think of her and Hinata almost foaming at the mouth.
“Her lungs are collapsing. You should help her.”
HINATA TOSSING SASORI OVER HER SHOULDER LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES

I actually want to riot and defenestrate stuff because you could have done sasohina A Thing. It's so ridiculously well done I want to bite something. Hinata worked her fucking ass off to keep Sasori alive because she cared about him, she needed him, she owed him. He learned how to maim and kill because of him. He must have meant SO MUCH to her and... did he even know? I mean, he was surprised she even tried, he didn't want her to hurt herself saving him, THIS IS PEAK DRAMA.

"Hinata was reminded how little of him was left human, even after working on him for hours. He didn’t feel the pain of the chips and chunks out of his body. Could he feel her bloody fingers, or was he numb to that too? Did he still feel the warmth of her hands, or was he cold to the world?" This. This thing right here made me have an epiphany in the bathroom.

What does it mean to be human? Is it something we feel inside our bodies, is the the chemicals inside our brains? Is it a concept, a code we create and follow through our whole lives? Because as far from human as Sasori is, he feels, and he loves, and he longs. His skin might not be soft to the touch, but he feels something so tender inside of him at times, and he just doesn't know what to do with this shit. I really wished you had talked about Sasori's humanity and what humanity might mean to him, because he wished for immortality and after having it for so long it really weighed on him when he met Hinata and this is so fucked up.

“Your deal is not to be used in battle. Saving me goes against that. You came alone, revealing yourself. Now your village knows who you have become.” Sasori prodded her where he knew it would hurt. His deathbed wasn’t the best place to tell someone they shouldn’t have bothered.
“I don’t care about any of that. I need someone to have tea with in the middle of the night.” Hinata whispered. “You don’t understand what leaving you to die is.” Her voice cracked. “It’s selfish of me, but I can’t lose you like that. I can’t stand by and do nothing when I can prevent it. You guys are all the family I have.”

When Hinata told him he was her family and that no one wanted her and all he said was "you are too emotional", I really think he wasn't talking only about her. He is emotional about her too and he doesn't know how to deal. And Hinata doesn't understand him at all, and she still cares about him so much it hurts.

Did Sasori even feel when her hug? "Sasori closed his eyes until she was done having her moment." Chucky boy was thinking like "god give me strength".

“I’m not going anywhere.” Sasori's lip quirked up.
“That’s not funny.” Hinata pouted.

It kind of is funny, because I don't think he wanted to go away. If he did is becayse feelings are confusing, and feelings are a nuisance when you're trying to be an immortal in peace.

But Sasori was so done (angry as a consequence of concern, yeehaw) with Hinata reaching her limit for him he even brought Itachi up. This is peak cinema.

“She didn’t even try to stop herself, and you told the little girl her lungs would collapse? Gentle fist isn’t usually that violent.”

Meaning Sasori heard everything she said. FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK.

(dude, I don't think she ever told him he learned the murderer hands fucked up technique no jutsu for him... she should).

with love, not-itachi

I didn't realized Kisame had his club jacket on at the beggining of the story and now I'm dying. Not to be horny on main, but already being horny on main: scarred knuckles. Thank you and good night.

"His height, mass, tattoos, and sharp teeth made mothers hide their children and grown men avoid crossing his path. And, oh yeah, he was blue. Add the bandages and bruises, and he was the prime candidate for avoid at all costs." Seems like boyfriend material to me.

I always love the interactions between Itachi and Kisame, always. But their friendship in here is specially funny because Itachi saw this fucking mamoth of a person and decided "should do the job" and attached himself to Kisame. Yeah, he keeps the lunatics at bay, but did he agree to that? Or Itachi just grew on him like mold?

I love when Kisame is entering the classroom and he is like "oh, they're all excited about a small girl" and she's small to him. Like, my love, everyone is small to you. I love all of his first reactions to Hinata, tbh, because he is so negative but at the same time he just doesn't care... Until he does.

Deidara. Just Deidara. Alive, happy, well, in good health, with friends, warm in his jacket. Only Deidara. An okay Deidara is a good Deidara.

"At least she could be grateful that she wasn’t in Neji’s class." Of course she is, the motherfucker is like... her jailer.

Okay, so... When Hinata looks at Kisame from under her bangs. She is just curious, but oh boooooy if it doesn't look like she's checking him out.

Neji cares about Hinata a lot, but I think this is the kind of caring that makes kids want/need to rebel... which is really weird, because Hizashi is such a nice and calm dad. How the fuck Neji ended up being a literal mother?

“Burnt rice, undercooked fish, and bruised fruit.” Sarcasm, refreshing.
It must be difficult to eat healthy with eating restrictions and no cooking skills. “Do you like sashimi and rice balls?”
“Yeah?” Hinata slid her bento toward him, plucking a rice ball out for herself. “You sharing?” He quirked a brow, pointing at it. Hinata nodded, nibbling on her rice ball. “Thanks.” He popped a rice ball in his mouth. They were too small for him. Hinata slide her chopsticks to him, ignoring the amused look on his face as he picked out one of the cuts of soaked fish. “This is great.”

I can't put in words how much I love their first lunch-sharing scene. Everything about the two of them is just so cute. It really sets their dinamic whole dinamic: Kisame isn't treating her like a porcelain doll, Hinata is treating Kisame with kindness, they are bonding without any expectations and are being treated differently in a positive way. And their little lunch interaction really is everything Kisame needed to go from indifferent to "oh, maybe she's okay" because his next thought is about her in an adorable way.

“She’s kind to a fault. I doubt she considered you any kind of threat.” A smirk spread across Itachi’s face. “And now that she’s warmed up to you, I suspect she’s going to be more prepared to make friends tomorrow.”

Itachi's only job in your stories is to be the love of my life-

I promised, didn't I? So buckle up.

Let's start with the opening sentence, because I swear to god, when I read it I laughed so loud. I knew something dramatic was on the way. When Sasuke is absolutely livid about Naruto's behaviour? Chief's kiss. The "like some whore you took in for the sex"? Phenomenal.

Coming back at the beginning of the story after reading the ending makes me so fucking angry. Like, Naruto fucking saw what he had done to Hinata and he didn't even give her a change of deciding what she wants to do. And then Sasuke just deciding on the go that Hinata should go with him, like, my man I'm really happy this ship is sailling but his reasoning is nonexistent.

Sasuke thinking "this is the last time" about cleaning Naruto's messes. I could say this is a mess he will ending up loving to deal with, but you know me and you probably know exactly why I am laughing so much reading this sentence. I'm sure it will be the last time.

You said you didn't want bashing in the comments but my brother in christ this is fucking hard to achieve, fuck me from behind, what in the everloving fuck is this, I want to do violent things to Naruto so very much.

Hinata had to put up with so much bullshit from him, from his bahavior to his tastes, to his lack of respect for her for the sake of love. Babygirl, this isn't love. I probably will come back to this same topic later, but the fact that he wanted her to act and dress in certain ways just to entertain his fantasy of a perfect home, and above all of that leaving her pregnant and alone is beyond fucked up, if not traumatizing. Naruto was everything she wanted and this is what happened, and there was nothing she could do to change it, because she didn't even have a chance to begin with. In short, I want to commit some violent acts.

"He wasn’t sure he wanted to see it when it split. But he would. He had made this decision." This is not the bare minimum at all, he isn't even having an affair with her, he isn't even responsible for anything but. but he is already being a better husband and father without even being a husband and father (yet). I think I like him so much it because in the principle of "I think, therefore I am", he thinks about helping Hinata and acts through it so throughoutly you can't even refute his intentions, you know? That is what makes him different from Naruto, he thinks and acts on it, while Naruto kind of denies rationality until the very end. The "cogito, ergo sum" in Naruto's perspective is literaly "no thoughts, head empty" bc? How do you even? How do you even thinks shit the way he does and fucked people up the way he does with the hero moral complex without realizing he's being the biggest asshole in town?

"The only thing they had in common abandoned them both." OUCH! And if they were lesser people, like I am, they would just get together out of spite. That would have been interesting, but I like that Sasuke is just livid instead. It's interesting tho that there is a void Naruto-shaped between them that will be filled with respect and love, this is nice.

ANYWAY "How did he still eat only take-out and quick-cooked rice?" She isn't judging him but she is judging him so hard LOL

I think one of my most recurrent thoughts while reading was "they need better friends" when it wasn't "why the fuck other people care so much about their lives?". In the first "why did you take her in?" I would be either answering "we have an affair" or literally asking the person to pay my bills if they're so entitled to care about my personal life, Sasuke in here is clearly a better person than I am.

I love that one of the good things Sasuke thinks about Hinata is that she is sane, his bar clearly isn't very high, but who knows, right? I still want to murder Naruto for being an egoistical dipshit.

It makes me sad that Hinata is grateful for being treated with respect by Sasuke, because they don't even know each other really well, he is just being a well-mannered human being and respecting her space. This is the bare minimum.

Yeah... the signs of abuse. This shit broke me. Not gonna lie and tell you I didn't laugh when Sasuke went for a hug, but boooy if this shit wasn't heavy.

"If I were late enough, sometimes he would say… that I wasn’t trying hard enough to make the marriage work. I didn’t love him enough…" First of all: psychological abuse is still abuse. Second of all, the nerve? He had his head so up his ass he couldn't see what he was doing to her? He wasn't trying to make this marriage work. As Dr. House said, marriages are built in lies, and Naruto took that at face value.

“Once you start making excuses, it turns from bad behavior to abuse.” Yes.

If anything, they both can tell everyone later that what got them together was the shared hatred for ramen :D

I'm a Lord of the Rings gremlin, and I shit you not, I was so unbeliavably happy when they decided on watching it (I hope they watched the extended version). I really am a cheap date, it's so easy to make me happy. I love them bonding through watching movies.

The "do you need me there?" "that would be nice" "i will be there"... it's about that.

Sasuke is also officially promoted to friend, which is nice (right next ot being promoted to dad).

“There, you can name it after flowers.” Or after your mother, Sasuke, we might never know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"The look at her was soft. The look at him was daggers." IF THIS ISN'T MY BOY, NEJI! <3 It makes me lose my shit everytime he comes up, he is such a pushy mother, this is gold.

Hinata's tantrum in the car is the best piece of literature ever, I laughed so hard because girlie has been through some deep shit, she deserves to go apeshit sometimes, okay? She even cursed!

“We could always just dye her hair.” He got a smile.
“I’m not dying her hair.” Hinata squeaked, her smile growing.
“Why not? If it’s blond, it will be easy.” Sasuke shrugged. “Dye it rainbow. The kid will love it.”

I wish my dad loved me like that LOL

"It’s just like a roommate, and the roommate gets a dog." I compared my friend's kid to a dog once and she said it was actually worse than having a dog, the father wasn't very happy with us but he didn't disagree lol. Point is, at least he wants the kid.

"If you want to move out on your own or get a boyfriend or something." Honey, you've got a big storm coming.

I think this story awakened a monster in me, the monster that loves the trope of roommates acting like they're married until they fall in love.

"She was cute. There never was a question. She was pretty." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

The part where Hinata has craving is so good, everything about this moment is so nice and cute and genuine and- I love them, your honor.

I totally forgot about the bath situation. I feel sorry for Hinata, but the image of her squeezing Sasuke's hand through the stitches like she's breaking his bones never fails to amuse me. "Sasuke would have to help her bathe, which was going to be a wonderful time, he was sure." I am sure as well ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“Why aren’t you at work?”
“I don’t want to come back and find a pregnant woman bleeding out on the floor.”

This is my kind of humor. I fucking love him.

Sasuke 🤝Me
planning Naruto's demise

"She conformed to every little thing he complained about, and he left her anyway. Didn’t that make it worse? She tried so hard and came up empty in the end." It was an abusive relationship, it doesn't matter the reasoning Naruto put up later, because it was fucking abuse still. Nothing she could do would change what he wanted to do, what he had done.

Oh yeah, the cringe baby clothes. Why does this shit even exist? Why do people even buy that kind of thing?

"To be fair, I think they should have scared more of the girls in school with horror factors like that." The sick amusement I could have had in a class like that is real. I feel robbed.

Everything about them bumping on Sakura was uncomfortable and I am happy she gets her shit together later :D One less problem to be dealt with.

Okay, I am not normal about Sasuke here. As in, absolutely not normal. I tried to start this comment three times already because every time I tried my brain went [oijsdofishuifhsijaofja!!!!!] because he is so fucking nice. I just gave up, I will just go crazy and deal with it later.

This comment starts at chapter 7 and I can't. It's just. Just. He is so attentive, you know? He notices shit, and he talks about it without being judgy. And he calls the apartment [their home], he makes Hinata feel comfortable to be herself without fear, he calls her a fucking savage bunny I'm going to hit someone over with a car- I will fucking cry.

Also, Sasuke struggling to be savage with the wings? Poetic cinema.

It fucks me over from behind the fact that Hinata allowed herself to joke around with Sasuke, like when she told him off... Because it was mutual, because she knew he didn't mean anything by what he said udausfhaifuh chapter 7 is everything to me.

Ugh, Naruto.
Ugh, selfishness.
Ugh, making a person work their ass off for a relationship to work instead of having both sides working together.

I FORGOT HINATA MADE SASUKE BLUSH AND I AM DYING BC IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!! and I think if he wasn't already falling in love with her, he started to fall here, but who knows?

“It doesn’t have to be, but you know some guys think single moms are hot.” Sasuke woke up one day and said "milf rights", I guess.

Not French philosophy, but when Hinata described Sasuke as someone simple, someone who is more likely to do give something you need than something pretty for the sake of it, and this is pretty much how he treated her so far. Their bonding moments were all in the comfort of their own home, he gave her the things she needed from safety to respect to the fucking crib. He treated her this way without expectations besides being treated simply, as well. And when Sasuke described what kind of person would like to date her, this sneaky little shit also described himself (not only bc he things single moms are hot), but he appreciate everything she does, even when he doesn't say it. Sasuke makes Hinata feel comfortable at all times. Hinata eats like a horror show rabbit in front of him, Sasuke doesn't give a fuck about dinner, and compliments her hair, like hello???? When Sasuke got Hinata the chair? It proved my previous point even more.

“You need someone who thinks of you when they think of their perfect wife, not someone else you have to be like.”

EX FUCKING CUSE ME, SIR?

Hinata's saga in the pregnancy classes or whatever that was was so fucking entertaining, girlie was so angry and Sasuke was so amused. At least he was able to make her laugh, it was cute. I think if Sasuke in here would be the most insufferable man in the planet if he had a kid with Hinata, I mean, he is halfway there with the child that isn't his, but imagine the sheer chaos. He is already suggesting to antagonise the pregnant catty gossips, I can't even imagine what more he would come up with.

"He came into the smell of… ramen, which was concerning." BOOOOY YOOOO and back to zero we go, because Hinata lost about 90% of the emotional recovery she had done in the previous chapters. Yikes, just yikes.

I could sit here and write a literal paper about Naruto in this story and it wouldn't be enough to explain how much I want to hit him with a chair, so I will just say that I'm happy with how Sasuke put a foot down on his bullshit. Also, someone please hug Hinata :<

“I would have to face him in court,” as if he would show up lol

Bread and Tea

"She bowed her head and exited the store, and without much more thought, she crouched down there on the curb to eat the whole bread." Well, you know a mf is having a fucking bad day when the sit on they curb to gorge down a whole loaf of bread. Not only that, but Hinata thinking she wanted to go back there and get another but didn't want to come out as weird... babygirl you just ripped apart a load of bread while sitting on the curb... breadboy is right there, I don't think he will mind you coming around for more bread.

"Hinata always pictured something more like a shrine or antique weapon shop." Now, that would be funny. What kind of shrine Sasuke would even manage? Antique weapons I can see, but the shrine was a funny one. Not as funny as Sasuke watching Hinata rip the bread apart from the bakery and wondering if she would come back, but still funny.

"She looked empty now." WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET HER FULL of bread, of course.

Okay, it was very cute that he added another flavour and thought about adding chairs... Can't have his favorite costumer eating out in the fucking rain. He was like "damn dude I don't want people to perceive me but she's doing that anyway so I might as well be nice" and it was very cute.

They are a two months and my guys is only now talking with her, you need to step up yo game, breadboy.

AND HE WANTS TO MAKE SOMETHING WITH CINNAMON IN THE FUTURE!! Nevermind what I said before his game is up already.

Well, as a depressed cave gremlin as well, I can say that there is something really therapeutic about forcing yourself to enjoy the little/meaningless things in life. It won't make your problems go away, but you will have something to brighten up your day even if you feel like absolute shit. Hinata enjoying her bread reminded me I enjoyed my bread this morning and now I'm extra happy.

OH MY GOD HE SAVED HER SOME BREAD WHEN SHE DIDN'T COME!! I knew she was his favorite costumer!!

Sasuke shrugged. “You have come every other day for three months now.”
Hinata paused to chew. “I like bread.” There is something so funny to me about this dialogue. Sasuke went from being chased by girls all around to being Hinata's "I like bread" dude.
“Then what do you do?”
“I eat bread.” This is amazing. I love them, the depressed bread eaters.

Sasuke aced bread making by rage and stubborness only- I love this guy. This is how you live your life. I bet if I had more drive I would find some philosophy in this story, because boy oh boy it is a beautiful story and it feels very comfy to read it when my life is going to shit, but I don't have a lot of drive at the moment so I'll just tell you that all of this [gesturing vaguely with my hands] is making me happy.

“Now the goal is to open every day and sell bread, and when that doesn’t work anymore, I’ll do something else.” Not gonna lie, I teared up lol

She's going to keep bringing him tea (ಥ﹏ಥ)

"Sometimes they didn’t say a word to each other." And sometimes this is literally everything someone needs.

In my game of "how is Lavender going to torture Hinata in her new story?" I didn't image you would use literal torture this time :D What the fuck, girl LMAO

OH MY GOD I WANT HIM TO TEACH HER HOW TO MAKE BREAD LIKE IN THAT GHOST SCENE WHEN THEY'RE DOING THE POTTERY STUFF- oh shit, he is actually going to teach her how to make bread lol

He is watching her while she watches the bread, this is a love triangle I've never imagined.

I was about to talk about your torturing methods bc... I liked it, I really like torture, you know me... but I started laughing so hard because this is a fluffy fluff about healing and bread and moving on, and then boom torture. Anyway, you invented the reverse gentle fist in Clouds and now we have baker mode gentle fist, I love you.

HE CLEANED HER NOSE FOR HER, THE YEARNING!!

The end of the story felt like when in Mulan the old lady yells "would you like to stay forever?" when Mulan invites Shang for dinner. Sasuke is this close to invite her to stay forever, I know it, she is his favorite costumer after all.

It seems like we joked a little too close to the sun, my friend.

I know I already told you but I'm going to say it again: RATED M FOR MURDER!!!!!!!

I love and I live for every single Neji you write because all of them are such grandmothers I CAN'T!!! And not to mention the "he is…" "a murderer, i know" BECAUSE HE'S COMPLAINING AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S COMING LMAO

Yes, Neji, Hidan kills people… and he looks damn good while at it.

"She had long since learned to read chicken scratch, or maybe he just got better with time." Yes, give me Hinata getting snarkier and snarkier after every interaction with Hidan, I so want to see it.

"Putting ger address down should have been a red flag." Girl, you have a big storm coming.

I love Hidan's character because being either canon or fanon, I never know if he is insane or very, very sane. It fits him being insane if you're thinking about it like a normal person, but it also fits his personality to be very aware of everything and decide to go apeshit just because. Is he actually insane for thinking what he is doing is okay? This is a nice topic to think about and analyse, I think. Anyway, I stand with Hinata's canceled husband.

I wonder if Hidan knows about the guy he killed as well, or if they will ever talk about it, or if they're going to kiss because of it- Anyway.

"It made her laugh when he started writing out the swear and then scribbling it out for her ‘delicate eyes.’ So at least, he considered being considerate." HE GOT HER BY BEING FUNNY!!! and also hot, but I don't think she's going to comment on it, she's very polite.

"Hidan was a bastard, but he knew he was a bastard. At least he wasn’t lying to himself." One point for sanity, I guess.

I think it's cute how Hidan waits for Hinata's letters like a dog waiting for the owner.

"He didn’t really care how she looked. It would make the mental picture more complete." Peak long-distance relationship dynamic, if you ask me.

Okay, I have things to say about "It took a weird pressure off of him to keep the act up." and about "Hinata never asked him why or how he did any of his murders and squashed his theory that she was writing a book. She could have made one by now if she just collected and printed the letter he sent over the years. It would probably be that long."

1. She already knows the worst of him, everyone knows the worst of him, but at least she isn't actively trying to fix him. And this is something I always say means love, that when someone knows you at your worst and about how horrible you can be and still chooses you, it means something. Not having to impress or scare someone off really lifts something off of you, I think. It's nice to be seen and tolerated, if not accepted.
2. They talked a lot. A lot, a lot. They talked so much Hinata could print a fucking book if she wanted. And Hidan just let it happen ¯_(ツ)_/¯ It seems the prude girl is getting to you, Hidan.

"Hidan always wondered if the last one he read would be the last one he would receive, and he would have to find something else to make his prison life interesting." IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY THE LETTERS, HIDAAAAAAA- I'm sorry, I'm insane.

"Speaking of damned, the edges of his collage were Jashin symbols." seems about right.

Hinata has the patience of a saint with Hidan because she's used to brats, got it.

The general ban Hidan got is peak comedy because fuck it anyway. Stabbing people with spoons, why the fuck not.

I like the idea that Hidan is an oversharer, points if he is an oversharer with Hinata because he doesn't know how to act around someone that isn't judging him (very much). "To be fair, prison didn’t have a lot of completely innocent people, so maybe she was assuming the worst of everyone."

AND KAKUZU IS HEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!

"Kakuzu liked one thing in life, money. It’s what got him in prison in the first place. An embezzlement case. He wasn't embezzling. He killed the man embezzling from him." Can't say he was wrong so I won't say it :D

Hidan and Kakuzu are a match made in hell and it amuses me to no end <3 The hitman and the ritualistic murderer are roommates!

"Prison was probably where Hidan belonged, and might as well enjoy it." Boy, just you wait.

So………….. how about putting "romantic comedy" as a tag?

I love how we start this chapter with Hidan amused by Hinata's rage. I think this should be a staple for them as a couple, just saying. I am also laughing a lot about how she just tells him everything, like?? My girlie??? She told the psychotic murderer about her fucking crush, I swear to god.

Hidan doesn't read fan mail but he waits impatiently for Hinata's letters, yeah, he clearly doesn't have a favorite.

"I think that's a federal crime." And I bet my fucking arm Kakuzu was thinking "we're already in jail", so, sure.

OH MY GOD THE GROUPIE PICTURE LMAO AND I AM NOT EVEN SURPRISED MY THE DEADPAN "sacrilege" I'M GOING TO FUCKING DIIIIIIIE

Reading Hinata's whole pov felt like that meme "maybe the one piece was the friends we made along the way" but in truth, it was more along the lines of "maybe the missing piece in your life was the murderer in jail you found along the way", if you catch my drift.

"He was blunt, brash, and a bastard. And Hinata had to admit he might be her best friend." I'm literally so sorry for her but her misery is my entertainment. Also, she needs better friends. If the only person you trust with your feelings is a total nutcase, then maybe there's something wrong with the people around you, just saying.

"What a sad thought. Her best friend was a convinced serial killer. If she ever said that out loud… well, maybe she should never say it out loud." MAYBE SHE SHOULD??? It would be amusing as hell, I'm sure of it.

I'm literally chanting inside my head "please make her worse please make her worse please make her wor-" because I think everyone has the potential to go to prison for capital crimes at least once :D But the idea of the cutie teacher killing the negligent parents is too good to go to waste.

"Hinata reached forward and pulled a childish sticker out of her supplies to add to the letter."
"At the end, he chucked at the note of ‘you’re a bad influence’ with a ‘You Did It!’ sticker next to it."
That's it, they are my special little babies.

They are weirdly cute, tbh. I don't know what I expected, but it seems on-brand to you. Even if Hidan is a psycho, he is so cute in his own fucked up, twisted way.

“She’s got a bleeding heart, but she’s not going to support me.” She will, just not in the way Kakuzu expects lol

"He was the type that would have fully milked the idea of having murder groupies if someone freak found murdering your own employee sexy." I laughed so hard I hurt my fucking throat, god bless.

"These women saw him acting up in court and wanted him to father their children, and people called him psycho?" This is such a good point, because I see people wanting to fuck Ted Bundy and Richard Ramirez and other fucking maniacs and I am like ?????????are you people fucking mad????

“I bet she would send money if you asked.”
“Greed is a sin.”

Kakuzu is my favorite boi.

My girl Hanabi out there not giving a fuck about coming back home, and honestly, can you blame her? Nope.

I am team "ignoring grandma's Neji worries" because it seems to get his knickers in a twist. It seems like Hinata agrees with me.

Only you have the power to make me get up from the comfy to write you a comment, but alas, I'm not actually complaining because HERE IT IS, THE BABY I HELPED BRING TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!! (I'm holding depressed, anxious, amnesiac Sasuke like the opening scene in Lion King).

While I was reading the first paragraphs about how Sasuke felt I was thinking like "imagine if this bitch just got a rock thrown at him lmao", but anyway. His last and yet confused memory about Hinata was a mission, did it trully happen or nah? Because I want to know about them going in missions together and getting to know each other. You don't really know someone until you see them at their worst, i.e. both of them stranded in the Rain Village and just hating every second of it together. I want them be miserableeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- No, I don't. I want the soft and cute stuff we talked about. The cute dates. The cute quality time at home. Everything we talked about. I also want a little bit of drama.

"Hinata’s hand ghosted over his face to brush hair off his forehead." (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) LET HER CARD HER FINGERS THROUGH YOUR HAIR, YOU ABSOLUTE MONSTER!!! I'm kidding, I'm SO kidding. But I need to point out that I love it when a character is scared of people being soft and nice with them because they're not used to it or because they are so used to being treated like shit/used to scaring other people away but then they absolutely MELT when they get some... ugh... English doesn't have the word carinho so kindness will have to do.

“Well, you’re not panicking about your arm, so you’re not that fried.” Sakura put a hand on her hip.
Sasuke waved his stump. “This is old news. Fix my head.”
“It’s not that easy.” LMAO GET HIS SKINNY ASS, SAKURA

Imagine how much it would suck to start your day with your amnesiac husband not remembering you and calling you "the Hyuga girl" when you are very much an Uchiha girl. Damn. At least his wife is pretty as fuck, this is a pro.

Also... his first flashback is about missing her. I can't. But the Rinnegan feeding him his lost memories is a funny detail.

Sasuke thought Hinata was going to use the murder mittens on him when in reality she just went for a hug, I don't know if the hug is better or worse for him in this case. Touch-starved depressed man deserves some hugs. He is so baby, I feel so bad for him lol I wish him all of the comfy fluffy and warm best.

I loved that Sasuke's coping mechanism is to spend some time between Hinata's boobs. Jokes aside, I'm just happy he feels safe with her. And I can't wait to see her cooking stuff for him because it's for him instead of treating him like a second option, I want to see Sasuke being pampered and crying and being emotional.

I love this story. I love how we came up with it. I love all of your touches. I love that it's sad but is the flavor of sad that amuses me. You are my favorite writer, my favorite girlie, I love you and your brain <3

I really can't with this story. I was there to raise its bare bones from the earth like a deranged necromancer and I know what is happening and some of what is going to happen, but I love how you can surprise me even so (!!!!!!)... That being said:

Oh my fucking fuck, Sasuke's doubts are showing right at the beginning and I can't stop smiling because Red's Sasuke is my baby, and I want to see this boy going through hell and coming back for some hugs.

"Did she get sealed to marry him? Why would he have let her do that? How did this even start? And why did she return the following day with food if her husband didn’t even know her?" SASUKEEEEEEEEEE- Because she loves you, even if you don't remember the why and the how, she fucking does. I love it when he thinks "if she's smart she's going to leave him behind" because dude, this isn't her first rodeo, even tho the cowboy and the bull are the same.

Sasuke's inner questions about what made him love Hinata in the first place are really amusing to be because... duh, he is going to find even more things to fall in love with her again. I think that, in the end, he could really think that there wasn't possible to not fall in love with her again, even if he fell in love for different reasons this time. I'm just theorizing here, don't mind me.

“I’m not used to the idea of having someone to miss me when I am gone.” Ouch. Also... Beautiful.

Do you know what would be pretty fucking funny? Sasuke falls in love for entirely different reasons than before and then gets bothered with himself because there's so much about Hinata to love and he feels like he wasn't being appreciative enough. I am here for the crisis.

Office Mishap

OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING LMAO
I'm actually seeing it posted with my own eyes and even though I read it beforehand I still can't believe you've written it. I can't stop fucking laughing, I love it so much.

Ladybug

HELL YEAAAAAAHAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!